But secession isn’t a cake walk. I mean, look at Texas and Quebec. Just because they’re linguistic minorities doesn’t mean they can just break off at will. So, what if unsuccessful secession is Great Hans Lollik’s fate?
Worry not … I have a backup plan!
I dreamed this plan up at 3:30am on August 1, 2010. That date is going to be a holiday on Great Hans Lollik, so don’t forget it. Or maybe that’d make it a holinight. Not sure … anyway … the plan is to establish a charitable foundation by which to purchase the island. I’m sure you're aware that the primary impetus for secession is usually taxes. Heck, I don’t want to pay taxes on a $45,000,000 island. Do you? I didn’t think so.
But the foundation doesn’t exactly make this a ton easier, since foundations are required to divest 5% of their assets annually. On an island like mine, that’d be $2.25 million! Ouch. Let’s not forget, though, that an island like Great Hans Lollikis a money making machine. Rich and famous folk love to spend their days frantically searching for a signal with their iPhones and BlackBerries from sandy beaches such as mine. It’s true.
So, here’s how it works. I give time on the island to those rich and famous donors who give to my foundation. The rich get a vacation and a tax deduction while I get money to keep up the island and to fund worthy projects in West Africa!
